Tuesday, June 06, 2023 09:16

Archive for the ‘General’ Category

Toyota of Portland Sucks

Tuesday, February 14th, 2017

Apparently, someone at your dealer went into my wife’s glove compartment (of her potential trade-in) without permission and took a copy of her registration.

That is absolutely unacceptable behavior to me.

Not only am I not buying a car from you, I’m reporting you to Costco (I’m using their car buying program) and I’m sharing this on all my social media accounts (plus I’m leaving 1 star reviews on each of your local listings).

Country Bill’s Steakhouse (now closed), Portland Oregon

Sunday, July 19th, 2015

I wrote this per request and it appears to have fallen off the Internet. I’m bringing it back because I really liked this piece and this wonderful restaurant no longer exists.


There’s a subsection of Portland consisting of trendy, hipster, vegan, metrosexual, Pearl District-loving folks lampooned in the one episode of Portlandia that I watched (and hated). I do sometimes intersect with that slice of Portland but I absolutely don’t live there.

Instead, I gravitate towards the Portland that existed back when “My Own Private Idaho” and “Body of Evidence” were filmed here (two films that bookended my arrival into this fair city).

My Google Fiber Commentary

Thursday, December 18th, 2014


I was asked to supply commentary on why Google Fiber should come to Portland. I did…but it wasn’t used. Instead, OregonLive published this piece by SEMpdx President Alan George which shouldn’t have surprised me since he’s the SEMpdx President and I’m not… :.)

Anyway, so not to put my effort to waste, here’s what I wrote:

I’m a militant telecommuter. At home, I pay for Business Class Internet Service…and while it’s not Google Fiber, I’m never left wanting for pipe on any of my work-related (or recreational) Internet Tasks.

My Wife

Tuesday, November 11th, 2014

This post isn’t actually about my wife. It’s about how I address her.

Neither of us are much into the “pet names” thing. I normally address her as “Danika”. The closest thing to having a “pet name” for her is when I call her “my wife” as in:

“Where’s my wife at?”

What’s interesting is how I annunciate that phrase. I tend to drawl it and pronounce “my wife” as “Miiii Whyyyyfe” (with the heavy emphasis on “I” and “Y”).

Where does that come from? I figured it out and it predates my relationship with her by a lot.

Weird News Addiction

Sunday, October 19th, 2014

The popularity of “Weird News” online has exponentially increased as social media become more ubiquitous in our society. As people spend more time in socializing online, they are sharing more and more content and it’s human nature to share what someone considers to be funny and unusual. Because “Weird News” has so many inherent viral characteristics that contribute value to website optimization and monetisation, a whole cottage industry has developed around seeking out, recasting, or even fabricating the most bizarre stories imaginable. I’ve always had a naughty sense of humor and never could I’ve imagined that I’m able to read several high quality “Weird News” items each day without spending any effort seeking them out.

Wifi Extenders Are Essential For Travel

Sunday, September 7th, 2014


All digital marketing professionals, myself included, travel with a full backpack of gear that includes laptop, tablet, smartphone, travel mouse (touchpads suck) and a whole bunch of different extension cords and power adapters.

However, there is one piece of gear that I’ve yet to see anyone sport other than myself…a portable Wifi Extender. Browse this site to get the coverage you need.

Role-Play It As It Lays

Monday, July 7th, 2014


I remember reading a book on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) a few years ago and like most books that I read that are supposed to “improve myself”, I pretty much forgot everything that I read (which is generally why I avoid reading such books). However, I do have one take away from the book…which is that how a person uses language unconsciously projects the learning style.

If they say “I hear you”, they’re an auditory learner.

If they say “I see you”, they’re a visual learner.

If they say “I feel you”, they’re a kinesthetic learner.

Beachfront Manor Hotel, Lincoln City Oregon Sucks

Sunday, March 23rd, 2014

I think it’s possible my Google Plus review could be filtered so I’m reposting it here:

Had the Groupon for an upgraded suite at the Beachfront Manor. Brought the family for what I hoped to be a wonderful long weekend in Lincoln City.

What a piece of sh** place.


Let me be very specific about my criticism…especially since this is supposed to be a premium lodging place:


Structured Settlement Scumbags

Sunday, February 23rd, 2014


For those who don’t know, “Structured Settlements” was / is a “Top 10” Google AdSense keyword for a couple reasons:

1) Successful businesses in this vertical can make a ton of cash.
2) Most people who choose a structured settlement post judgment are desparate, stupid, or both.

One of my wife’s relatives who lived at our house for a short period of time made the very immature choice to take a structured settlement and because she resided at our address, our address got added to the various structured settlement mailing lists, meaning that I’ve been seeing their direct mail pieces for a while. However, my interest was piqued when we received a letter that was addressed in what appeared to be 10 year old kids handwriting yet also contained the standard bulk mail stamp. Opening up the letter, I saw the following:

Stomach Distress

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013


Everyone has a series of embarrassing incidents that they prefer to keep hidden from public view. I’m no exception. However, here’s one story I’m not shy to share…

We used to have a maid service at our house once a week. They cleaned the house each while I worked and, depending on the day, there would be either one or two women cleaning house, we left them food and custom bottled water with their names for them to know it was for them.

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